Haseeb*, 31 years old, from Iraq
I’m a journalist and reporter. I left Iraq when I was 25 because of conflict between Sunni and Shia Muslims. The militia, from 2006 to 2014, killed my uncles one by one. They killed the last uncle of mine in 2014, during Ramadan. They caught him outside the mosque. They tortured him first by pulling his fingernails out.
In 2015 the militia sent a letter, saying because we are Sunni, we had to leave our house within a month. My uncles received the same before they were murdered. Because my father is a religious man, he believes that everything that’s meant to happen will happen - he said we were born in this house and would die in this house.
After a month, they opened fire outside our house. My father reported it to the police, but they did nothing because the militia is very powerful. At the time, I was working offshore for an oil company. I called a friend, who managed to bring me my passport and a ticket to Turkey. I had to leave Iraq after seeing what happened to my family.
I stayed in Turkey for six months. I had money because the oil company paid a good salary, but eventually I became homeless. I planned to go to Greece, because in Turkey there was no work, no life. Many people were trying to leave the dangers in Turkey, like smugglers taking your money or even harvesting your kidney.
We travelled in a lorry, tightly packed with maybe 300 people. At the shore I was told to get on the boat, or the smugglers would kill me. They put 40 of us on a boat designed for 20 people. I thought to myself “I am going to die”, because I can’t go back. They sent off 7 boats at the same time, 2 capsized. There were children. I saw it but I couldn’t do anything; I felt I was waiting for my time.
When we got to Greece, the smugglers formed six or seven groups of people and we started our journey from Greece to Hungary. The Hungarian police sent dogs after us or shot at us sometimes; I saw many people dead. We made it through Hungary, Bulgaria and Austria. I went to claim asylum in Norway and stayed there from 2015 to 2018. I did my asylum interview, explained my story and showed evidence, but my asylum was denied.
I had to leave Norway, so I went to Belgium to apply again for asylum. After 3 months, I was permitted to work and so I started working in a warehouse. I had my own flat and paid taxes.
After a year, I had my asylum interview and provided my evidence on a CD. They said they couldn’t open it in case there was a virus. I became stressed, and I questioned them on it - I think the judge thought I was mocking him, like I wasn’t taking it seriously. I offered to bring my laptop in the next day and they said no - they gave me a negative asylum decision. I lost my job and became homeless.
Living on the street, I had no access to water, so I drank from a hose outside a building that was under construction. A man passed by and asked what I was doing. He said he had empty rooms in the building because people were still working on it. He said he would try to arrange papers for me to work for him doing construction, and I could stay there.
He agreed to pay me 70 euros a day but I was only given 20 euros a week. I worked 12 hours a day. I was provided with just two sandwiches per day and had to sleep on the floor, using my jacket to shield myself from the cold. I couldn't change my clothes; there was no shower, only a hose outside.
Three months later, I left with three other men from work. We ended up sleeping in the park, where many others were also staying. When we heard about a group heading to France, we decided to join them. Eventually, I found myself in Dunkirk, planning to go to the UK. My friend and I followed a family who had arranged to be smuggled there. At the shore, the French police tried to catch the smugglers and I got hit twice. While running, I saw the police tasing a child. It took four attempts before I could finally get on a boat and set off.
In the UK, everyone has a different experience. Maybe the situation in their country is bad, so when they come to the UK they think that everything will be fine, but the Home Office takes a long time to decide on your case. For me it has been 2 years. Other people maybe 6 months, others 5 years.
I had a girlfriend in Iraq, who had hoped to come to the UK. I came to the UK on the 16th of August and she was killed 3 days later, on the 19th August. I got the news through Facebook, where people had started sharing posts. She was a doctor. She was an activist and attended protests.
I chose to get revenge by writing about these militias and the Iraqi government.Now I have the freedom to talk about it. I’m not a criminal, I can't even hold a knife. I don’t want to hurt other people. My weapons are my words.
*All names have been changed to protect participants.